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How Does a Mom Forgive?    ~ By Dionna Sanchez

We all know that our children are constantly watching us and looking up to us as an example. There are times when due to our own personal emotions, we find ourselves caught up in a moral dilemma. This is especially true when we feel that one of our children has been hurt or wronged by another individual. This is when the “mother bear” in us comes out. Sometimes that inner “mother bear” can go on the attack. Can’t it?
It can be admirable to stand up for our children and to want to right a wrong…but we have to really examine our motivation in these situations. Are we really trying to solve a situation or are we merely trying to make someone “pay” for damage done?
It is all too easy to tell our children not to hang around someone or to allow them to catch on to our feelings of distaste towards an individual. But this kind of an approach doesn’t bring peace to our heart or our child’s for that matter.
God hates unresolved conflicts. We need to take the matter at hand to the Lord in prayer first and foremost. We then need to make every effort to help our child heal from the wound and encourage them to continue to love and forgive. We are not only being a good example to them, but we are allowing our children to see us seeking for forgiveness as well. As we talk to them, they will be able to see our heart and the desire we have as their mom to do the right thing even if we feel angry.
There will be times where maybe personal protection, professional counsel, or intervention may be necessary. But even during these times our children need to see us striving to do the right thing. They need to know that we won’t resort to selfish or dishonest tactics because those not only don’t bring peace, healing, or satisfaction, but they are morally wrong.
It takes a great deal of courage to forgive but if we do, we will be raising children who can handle and resolve conflicts in a mature, wise, and loving manner.
We can teach a lot of principles to our children with our mouths. But if we don’t also model them, our talk is worthless. For “character” is not only taught, it is caught.
The next time your heart is struggling to forgive, remember and think about what kind of an example you want your children to follow.



~ Dionna Sanchez passes on her positive outlook to her family in Idaho.  She has created Emphasis On Moms to help share that encouragement and happiness with other moms.  Visit the website today at http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com/

Moments for Mom :By Elizabeth Corcoran

August 2008

I am finding myself in the middle of a tricky situation with a person who wants to just move on, when in reality, I know that we need to do the hard work of moving through. I want to move on, trust me. I want this thing to no longer be the background music of my day to day life, but it is, and it will continue to be for quite a while.

Moving on would be so much easier. Less painful. Less sacrificial on my part. On both our parts. Less convicting. Less controversial. Less mess. But I know better. We need to move through this one. Actually, I need to move through it even if the other person doesn’t want to.

Moving through will be difficult. It will hurt. (It already does.) It will require work, mental, spiritual and emotional. It will require little deaths. (It already has.) It will be a huge mess (it already is) but it will be a mess with God at the center of it. And I’d rather have a mess with God holding my hand then fake peace and quiet any day of the week.

I have a friend who has a precarious relationship with one of her parents. She is, at this moment, at this parent’s house trying to hash some things out that have gone unsaid for maybe ten years. She is moving through, not just moving on, and I am so proud of her.

I know summer is a time of vacations and undone routines and this weird mix of a slower pace but sometimes a busier schedule. I know that sometimes we even take a vacation from working on relationships. Relationship work seems to fall better into a season where people aren’t dreaming about the beach and kids are in school, for some reason. But you can’t take a vacation from your relationships. No matter how badly you may want to. No matter how sure you are that what your difficult/frustrating/high-maintenance relationship with fill-in-the-blank really needs is a vacation. Life doesn’t work that way.

So though your head may be in the clouds, and I’m right there with you, and things feel, I don’t know, more loose and non-urgent maybe, I want to challenge you to decide to move through and not move on in whatever relationship is stumping you these days.

I can’t think of any relationship Jesus had that he just up and walked away from…unless of course, he could tell the person’s heart was completely hardened to him. (In that case, he usually gave them up to God and moved on…) But in most cases, it’s our own selfishness that’s holding us back from moving through. We will be following in the mighty footsteps of Christ each and every time we say the hard words and pray that one-last-time prayer and serve up an act of kindness that just might kill us inside…basically each time we move through, no matter the reaction of the other person, we are doing what we are called to do. No matter how hard it may seem.

By the way, my friend just called…she said it was hard and good with sobbing and difficult words said all at the same time and yet…so, very healing. Like I said, moving through is worth it, no matter how hard it’s gonna be.


Ó Elisabeth K. Corcoran, 2008


Elisabeth Corcoran is the author of In Search of Calm: Renewal for a Mother’s Heart (2005) and Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom’s Weary Soul (2001). She is wife to Kevin, and mom to Sara, 10-&-1/2, and Jack, 9. Her passion is encouraging women and the Church, which she fulfills through serving in leadership on staff part-time at Christ Community Church – Blackberry Creek Campus in Aurora, Illinois, and writing and speaking as much as she can. You can learn more about Elisabeth and her ministry at www.elisabethcorcoran.com.

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